So I'm pulling off the freeway, just about at work, and there are birds. Birds on all the street lights and on all the signs and on all the buildings. Hundreds of little black birds.

Eyeing me.

So I'm about to go in and cast my vote into the abyss and I'm reading over the voter information pamphlet they give everybody. I toy briefly with the idea of abandoning my opinions and voting against the side that uses the most CAPITAL LETTERS PREDICTING DOOM in the little explanation boxes for each proposition. But it turns out I was gonna vote pretty much that way already.

So I'm driving to work and I pass a truck that has the words "Plastic Concepts, Inc." painted on the side.

They must be in competition with "Stilted Ideas Corp."

So Corlan and I are sitting around waiting for our food to arrive and I say, "Is there anything non-poisonous that you wouldn't eat a pound of for a million bucks?"

He thinks for a moment, then says, "Nope."

"Really?"

"People are much cheaper than they think they are. I'd probably do it for a hundred grand."