The eight and ninth steps of the Twelve Steps are complete when you have:

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

When the United States finally hits rock-bottom and ends its Trumpian bender — assuming it doesn’t kill us — this part is going to take forever.

Like, maybe everyone in California (39 million) will visit a Canadian (38 million) and make a direct, sincere apology for the country’s behavior while acknowledging the damage it has done, and expressing an eager willingness to make amends. Elon Musk will then write a check to address any financial wrongs. (Musk will be present for every visit, but restrained Clockwork Orange-style.)

Ryan Reynolds will be assigned to himself.